Do You Know How to Savour, Cherish, and Treasure? (Dear Khaj #05)

 

Dear Khaj,

No Phone Time

One of the things that impressed me from what you shared with us about your 'Leadership in Training' experience at Camp Huron this past summer (2023) was the fact that you profitted a lot from the camp requirement of not having your phone for most of the time you were there. I recall you reflecting that not being on your phone allowed you to do other wholesome and fun activities that you would not have otherwise done if you had the device with you.

Of course! All of us in today's "connected 24/7 society" really need to "fast" from our devices and from the internet. Yes, being constantly online, often jumping from one interesting update to another, has some advantages to it. For example, it makes us feel that we're "in the know" about the latest "trends" and about what's going on in the world. Having that knowledge--we think--will make us "cool." However, there is an increasing amount of data that shows the negative effects of being always online on all of us, especially on young people.

From Internet to "Inner-Net"

So, here's the thing I wanted to tell you: I recently came across an encouragement from a lifecoach who said that we really need to switch off the "internet" in order to dwell more on the "inner net." That really hit me! 

In connection with all that, I read a book on Buddhism years ago (Habito, Experiencing Buddhism, p. 62) and was struck by the following observation: Upon having his enlightenment experience, the Buddha relished his experience for 49 days! What impressed me was not so much the Buddha’s “enlightenment experience” itself but instead his attitude of “relishing” the experience!

Savour, then Cherish-Treasure

This is--what I sometimes call--the spirit of "savour, cherish, and treasure." We need this skill badly in today's world where we are constantly encouraged to "consume" not only things but even experiences, without deeply relishing (savouring) and cherishing/treasuring them. In our consumerism-driven culture, these three words "savour", "cherish", "treasure" seem to have, sadly, little or no place in people's lifestyles. Instead, we are continually pressured to check out the latest interesting and exciting trends, literally always "scrolling down" our social media feeds to check out something new without savouring anything! In short, we've acquired the vice of being so accustomed to "consuming" something--be it a thing, an event, a person, an experience--and moving thoughtlessly and unmindfully to the next interesting thing on our "feeds." 

In the past when people had fewer "things" and fewer "stimulants," a person could in principle better "savour," "cherish," and "treasure" each and every experience (both positive and negative), learn what needed to be learned from it, and emerge a richer, more whole, more mature person. 

This is why these three words could potentially be some of the most important keywords for a lifestyle that leads to inner peace and happiness, especially today in our crazy, consumeristic, and frenetic world. Let me describe briefly what I mean when I use these three words.

Savouring is the mindful attitude of slowly and intentionally experiencing, “tasting,” "relishing," and appreciating something--be it a thing like food, an experience such as a wonderful concert, a person, etc. In its most practical and concrete level, it is the mindful and grateful attitude we take toward food.

'Cherishing and Treasuring' can be taken as two words that convey an attitude that is the opposite of mindlessly consuming things, persons, and experiences. When we encounter someone, something, or an event that is meaningful, we [1] savour it, by being mindful of it at the moment of encounter. We don't stop there however. Afterwards, we also [2] cherish and treasure them/it. We put, better, enshrine the person, the thing, the event carefully in our heart like a treasure, so that we could retrieve the memory and make it remind us to be grateful. "Remember" is a verb that carries importance in the Bible, especially with regard to the great things God had done in the past. That would be the spirit of "cherish and treasure" that I mean here. 

Learn these skills! Plut them into practice! They are keys to being a truly happy person! And truly happy people can change the world!

-Daddy (originally written September 17, 2023)

[5] Thich Nhat Hanh @ Google HQ: Pain & Suffering / Strong Emotions / Success / True Love

Mindfulness as a Foundation for Wellness: Part 5

Previous: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

SOURCE in the public domain HERE  

Here is the last part of the transcription of Thich Nhat Hanh’s talk at Google Headquarters in September 2011. This is what the great Zen teacher wanted most to convey to folks working at one of the world’s most dynamic and innovative tech companies. We can say, therefore, that it is Thich Nhat Hanh’s heartfelt message to us who live in a busy, hectic, and constantly changing world driven by the ubiquitous advanced technology that plays a crucial role in everything today. Special thanks to my research assistant Christine Atchison for helping me out in this project.

Dealing with pain and suffering / Generating happiness and joy, here and now

Practice (i.e., Buddhist practices) helps us to touch the conditions of happiness in the here and the now so that we can generate a feeling of joy at any moment we want. And that is not too difficult. If you go back to your body, if you bring your mind home to your body, and establish yourself in the here and the now, you will realize that conditions for your happiness are more than enough. And happiness is possible right in the here and the now. So, to generate a moment of joy is possible, to generate a moment of happiness is also possible for a practitioner no matter where and when. And the practice of mindfulness also helps us to recognize a painful feeling [or] a painful emotion when they manifest. [With regard to] a painful feeling, we have a tendency to try to run away from it. We want to cover it up by consumption.

If we listen to music, if we read magazines, if we eat—maybe it’s not because these things bring us a lot of happiness but because we don’t want to get in touch with the suffering; we want to cover it up with consumption. Obesity is an outcome of that. You have a feeling of loneliness, despair, anger, worries in you and you don’t know how to handle those … and that’s why you want to forget; [you want] to run away, and one of the ways is to just consume—some music, magazines, food … [These things] are there in order to help you to cover up your suffering. You do not solve your problem [though]. But the practice consists in going home and taking good care of that pain. Breathing in, I am aware of the painful feeling in me. There is the energy of pain of course, but, as a practitioner, you generate the energy of mindfulness and concentration. And with the second energy you recognize the first energy. [You can say:] Hello there my little pain! I know you are there. I will take good care of you. So, like a mother holding her baby when the baby suffers, the practitioner generates the energy of mindfulness and concentration and go[es] home and take[s] care of the painful feeling, of the painful emotion in him or in her and get[s] that relief. (1:16:44).

On Weathering Strong Emotions

[There are] so many young people who are not capable of handling a strong emotion, and they believe that the only way to stop suffering is to go kill themselves. That is why so many young people commit suicide everywhere. But we know very well that an emotion whether it is strong [or] however strong it is, is only an emotion. … and we are much more than an emotion. An emotion is something that comes and stay[s] for some time and finally goes [away]. Why do we have to die because of just one emotion? That is what you can remind yourself when an emotion manifests in you.

And if you know the practice of mindful breathing/mindful walking, generating the energy of mindfulness, you can very well recognize and embrace that emotion and you are safe. An emotion is like a storm coming and there are ways in order to stand and not to allow the storm to blow you away. The practice of deep breathing in a position of sitting or lying down focuses your attention on the rise and fall of your abdomen, and just that. Stop all your thinking, because the more you think the stronger the emotion can become. Stop the thinking! Bring your mind down to the level of your navel, breathe in deeply, and become aware of the rise and fall of your abdomen. Stay in that position and continue. [If you do those exercises,] your emotion cannot, will not be able to do anything to you. And after five minutes, ten minutes, or even half an hour, the emotion will go [away] and you will survive it. The next time it comes, you will [do] just that. It’s easy enough. You should train yourselves only a few times. And everyday if you know how to do it, try a few minutes. And then after a few weeks it will become a habit. And when that emotion manifests you will remember to practice and you are no longer afraid of an emotion (1:19:44).

[4] Thich Nhat Hanh @ Google HQ: Mindful Practices During the Day / Store-Consciousness / "Not Thinking"

 Mindfulness as a Foundation for Wellness: Part 4

Click for Part 1 / Click for Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 5

Source in the public domain of this video is HERE

Here is the continuation of the transcription of Thich Nhat Hanh’s talk at Google Headquarters of September 2011. This is what the great Zen teacher wanted most to convey to folks working at one of the world’s most dynamic and innovative tech companies. We can say, therefore, that it is Thich Nhat Hanh’s heartfelt message to us who live in a busy, hectic, and constantly changing world driven by the ubiquitous advanced technology that plays a crucial role in everything today. Special thanks to my research assistant Christine Atchison for helping me out in this

How to incorporate short mindful moments into your daily routine

Eating [47:30]

When you eat your breakfast, you have a chance to practice [the] mindfulness [of] eating. You don’t have to think about your projects, your work. Every moment of breakfast is an opportunity for us to get in touch with the wonders of life. Today we will have a chance to share a meal together in mindfulness. Holding a piece of bread, you might like to stop your thinking and look deeply into the piece of bread.

Mindfully, you breath in and might get in touch with the fact that the piece of bread that you are holding contains the whole universe. There is the sunshine that helped the wheat to grow; there is the cloud that provided rain for the wheat to grow; the earth is in there—time, space, and everything in the cosmos has come together in order to produce that piece of bread. And that insight you can get in just a few seconds of looking mindfully at that piece of bread.

If you keep thinking about the past, or the future, or your projects, you miss the bread. You miss the Kingdom of God that the bread is bringing to you. And when you put the piece of bread you might like to enjoy just chewing the bread—getting in touch with the wonders of life instead of chewing your projects, your worries, your fear. You stop all your thinking. You just enjoy eating your breakfast. And that is practice. You don’t need to set aside time for practicing.  [49:54]

Taking a Shower, Brushing Our Teeth

When you take a shower, that is time for practic[ing] mindfulness. You might enjoy your mindful breathing and become aware of the water, of your body, and you can create joy and happiness while taking a shower. The essential [thing] is to stop thinking. The thinking will carry you away and [will not] allow you to live that moment of life.

René Descartes said ‘I think therefore I am’. I’m not very sure of that because if you think so much you will go around your thinking. Your thinking might not be productive at all. It will carry you to many realms and make you worry more and angrier and so on. So, if you are carried away by your thinking, you are not there. That’s why: [perhaps it’s better to say] I think therefore I am not there. It’s better to stop the thinking in order to be there.

When we brush our teeth, we might choose to brush our teeth in such a way that makes freedom and joy and happiness possible during the time of brushing our teeth. It may take two minutes or three minutes. The essential is to stop your thinking, even if you have a lot of things to do. Stop your thinking and enjoy brushing your teeth. When I brush my teeth, I usually touch on the fact that I am over 80 and still have some teeth to brush and it is enough to make me happy.

Brush your teeth in such a way that freedom is possible. Joy and happiness are possible during the time of toothbrush. That is a challenge and I know you can do it. Do not think about your work, your projects. Just enjoy being there and brushing your teeth. That moment  … you can live it deeply also because you can always touch the wonders of life, the Kingdom of God in the here and the now.

We used to distinguish between time for work and free time. Buddha has changed our way of thinking. Suppose you have free time, some free time. And if you do not know how to make use of your free time your time is not really free. If you keep thinking and worrying, that time does not make you happy. That time is not for working, of course, but you continue to think about it; you continue to worry about it. And that thinking is not productive. (54:13).

Dear Khaj #04: Spirit-Nourishing - How to? OUR Practice

 

Dear Khaj,

As I said in my last post, there are many ways to do "meditation" (spirit-nourishing, mental prayer, mindfulness practice, centering, etc.). The important thing, as I said, is to do it regularly and treat it like "mind brushing."

What We Did

But let's go down memory lane a bit. In your earlier years when we regularly did our "home church" together, we would go through the following steps that I'll recount here to jog your memory. Remember: This could be a good process for a regular meditation/spirit-nourishing practice all your life! You could even teach it to others ...

Breathe

We would start with the BREATH. Focus on your breathing: your in-breath and out-breath. Breathing is the very foundation of our life as humans: If you stop breathing, you'll die! It is also the anchor that frees us from the endless thoughts that distrct our minds and connects us to the present moment (the "Now"). Importantly, it connects us immediately to our body. 

Gratefulness

From there, we would usually move to RECALLING (by the fact that we can still breath) that we've been given the GIFT OF LIFE. I always invited you to be grateful first and foremost for life. From there, we would move to consciously being GRATEFUL (to God/to the universe) for everything and everyone that come along with the gift of life: LOVE, Friendship, our family and extended clan, our friends, the beauty of nature, our beautiful experiences, the people who take care of us and help us when we're in need, etc. 

Listening to the Wisdom of Tradition

After that we would READ (or RECALL) or LISTEN to a piece from the wisdom-spiritual traditions we're part of. That usually meant something from our Christian or Buddhist traditions. You know my favourites: nuggets of wisdom from the Bible, from our church's YouTube channel, from Thich Nhat Hanh, and other sources. Of course, you don't have to be limited to those. You can find wisdom-spirituality practically everywhere! You'll have your own sources which--you'll know--nourish your spirit well. Make use of them!

Reflect (Meditate) and Pray

After we've read or listened to wisdom passages, we paused and took time to THINK and REFLECT on what we heard. And then we would PRAY: for ourselves, for our loved ones, for the world. 

The Main Point

"Just Do It" Regularly!

This is only one way (among many others) by which we can do spirit-nourishing. It means a lot to me because we used to do it regularly: you and I. I learned the basics of this back in that boarding school in my teens. I still follow pretty much the same structure during my regular quiet time now. Whenever you do this yourself or with others, recall that I'll always be there with you --- even though I may no longer be physically present in this world. 

The main point is that it is good to have a concrete practice (your "method") for spirit-nourishing that you will do regularly ... whether you feel like it or not! Only regular practice will make a difference. It's better to have just a few minutes but done regularly, than a long one but done only infrequently. Believe me: regular spirit-nourishing IS one of the most important keys to keep you at peace, grounded, and truly happy. It will change you for the better and help you to make the world a better place.

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Dear Khaj #03: Meditation - "Brushing Your Mind"

Dear Khaj,

I'll just pick up from my last post where I was telling you that one of the first things I learned in those early mornings at the boarding school was "how to fix my bed" (that is, accomplishing something little at the beginning of the day). That prepped me to have a good and productive day. 

What I did at 5:15 am at the Study Hall

After that, it was down to the study hall by 5:15 am for a 45 minute study period before spiritual exercises in the chapel at 6 am. I don't know what made me resolve to do this but I decided that I would spend the first 15~20 minutes of the day doing--what we used to call--"mental prayer" at that time. That is now popularly known as meditation. It is also called by other names: mindfulness practice, prayer, centering exercise, contemplation, etc.

Meditation -the key to improve ourselves

Meditation has become a popular practice nowadays, especially the kind that is detached from a spiritual goal, and for many good reasons For instance, a growing body of scientific research shows that meditation has massive benefits, both for the mind as well as the body. Of course, a long time before it became a secular trend, the great spiritual-wisdom traditions (the world religions) were already constantly teaching that meditation is necessary to acquire authentic wisdom and a deeper spirituality. 

I can personally attest to the truth of all that. I have practiced meditation since those days as a 13-year-old and I don't exaggerate when I say that this practice has kept me sane, grounded, happy, and peaceful all through my life!

I heard a meditation teacher relate that when he is asked by people how to improve their lives, he straightaway recommends that they begin a regular practice of meditation. Some would kind of make fun of that suggestion and react by saying, "C'mon, we don't have time for that. Give us something real, man!" And he would answer, "If you don't have time for 20 minutes of meditation a day, you probably need two hours!"

The point here is that a regular meditation practice is actually the key to "improving" yourself, not to mention helping you attain true health, peace, and happiness. Let me use language that is more understandable to younger people nowadays. Everyone knows that there is a sort of epidemic of mental health issues in our world today. Many people experience depression, loneliness, low self-esteem, despair, a pervasive negativity about life, lack of enthusiasm, even suicidal thoughts, and so on and so forth. 

"Brushing our Minds"

It is clear that a major cause of that is because it's so easy, especially in this present era characterized by an information explosion, to have our minds filled with all sorts of negativity or, in other words, (apart from the many benefits of our information age) we also get a lot of (pardon the language) cr*p from being connected 24/7 to the world wide web. Many of us never do any proper processing of what effect being always "connected" does to our minds and hearts.

 It is all the more urgent then today to be able to do something that is akin to "brushing our minds" (that from self-improvement teacher Brian Johnson) in order to maintain good mental health. Don't you think that image is so insightful? Just imagine: If you never brushed your teeth although you use them to chew food several times a day, they would be rotten in no time at all! Isn't it scary to realize that we actually do that to our minds?! Our minds are constantly bombarded by so much information today. If you don't "brush your mind" regularly, your mind will become rotten in no time at all (aka, be clogged by "mental health issues"). You just can't be this exposed to too much information without good maintenance of your mind. And that maintenance can be done mainly through meditation (or whatever you want to call this exercise). 

The Main Point

There are many ways to do or to begin meditation. I'll write about that next time. But just remember for now: Doing some form of meditation (or quiet prayer or mindfulness exercise, etc.) is something like "brushing your mind" --- you just do it regularly ... everyday, twice a day!

Related to that, the French philosopher Blaise Pascal said: "All of humanity’s problems come from one thing: not knowing how to sit quietly in a room" ... (and I would add) to do some "mental brushing" (or meditation).

(j’ai dit souvent que tout le malheur des hommes vient d’une seule chose, qui est de ne savoir pas demeurer en repos dans une chambre. -Pensées #139)

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Dear Khaj #02-- How I Learned Spirit-Nourishing: Making My Bed

Dear Khaj,

My "Hogwarts" School!

I wrote about the importance of spirit-nourishing last time. Let me share (in a series of posts) when and how I learned this in my life. I went to a boys-only boarding school just shy of my 13th birthday way back in the mid-1970s. I still recall my years there whenever I see or read our beloved Harry Potter stories: After all, Hogwarts is also a boarding school, although one that trained young wizards and witches in magic.

Ours was also a special school because it was for boys who were thinking of becoming members of a religious order in the future. A "religious order" is a group of people who form a community for a common mission. Interpreted positively after all these years, I'd say that it was a kind of school that trained us to be "spiritual warriors" in the future (not of the Warrior Nun type though lol!).  Perhaps because of that, we were subjected to a strictly regimented high school life: discipline, fixed timetables to cover all our waking hours, regular spiritual exercises, manual labour, music, sports ... the works! You may cringe even at the idea of such a high school life but I found out that when you got the hang of it, there were lots of positives as well. One of these was: I learned the value of self-discipline early on. And that has served me really well all throughout my life.

Some of the most valuable things I learned in life happened at the start of our daily routine. First off, we, teenagers, got woken up at 5 am (!) to a loud cry from the dormitory assistant saying: "Benedicamus Domino!" (Latin, Let us bless the Lord!). To that we also had to shout our response: "Deo Gratias!" (Thanks be to God!) . Lesson one: Start each day  on a positive note of gratefulness: I'm alive! It's a brand new day to live and contribute to the world. Thanks be to God!

We were then only given 15 minutes to make our bed, wash ourselves, get dressed and go down to the study hall by 5:15 am. Needless to say, latecomers were penalized in some way. 

I eventually became a pro at that morning routine. In time, I would  finish everything in just about 7~8 minutes  so that I could go down to the study hall early. There I would start the day with something that I have practiced all my life since then -- it is a kind of spirit-nourishing that is nowadays known as meditation. 

Let me share my reflections on two valuable things I learned doing that regimented morning routine all those years ago at the boarding school: (1) the importance of "making your bed" and (2) meditation. I'll tackle the first thing now and deal with the second thing in another note.

Make Your Bed!

Admiral William McRaven, who is a former US Navy Seal, said that you should always start the day with a task completed (yes, like making your bed!) because that will give you a sense of accomplishment and lead to other small and big accomplishments and victories throughout the day.

I learned that lesson well at boarding school: The first order of the day (at 5 am!) was making my bed. Moreover, before we left our desks at study hall later during the day, our desks had to be cleared of everything on its surface so that the study hall when not used would look clean and orderly. 

Zen Buddhism: It Starts with Proper "Form"

Later on when studying Zen Buddhism, I would come upon the fundamental Zen idea: 禅は形から（入る）Zen wa katachi kara hairu. Translated: "Zen starts with 'form'." That means, the first step in learning the spirit of true Zen Buddhism is to start by making your external form the proper one (for example, sitting properly). 

[TMP] The Main Point 

The Little Things that Count

So, you see, the body and the spirit or your outside and your inside are so intimately connected that order/disorder on the outside usually reflects order/disorder within! Translated to life, that Zen principle teaches us that the little things in life (such as making your bed, keeping your surroundings clean, doing household chores, maintaining proper hygiene, exercising, eating properly, etc.) all count in a crucial way to making you feel good and changing yourself and changing your life for the better. And when that happens, you'll be able to change the world as well!

Never forget these little things --- they make all the difference in life!

Dear Khaj #01: "Spirit-Nourishing"

 

Dear Khaj,

I'm starting this series of notes to you because I thought I should put down in writing the most valuable and helpful lessons of life that I'd like to pass on to the people dearest to my heart, the top two of whom are you and DDR. Hopefully, these lessons will also help many others. I will keep each note brief, no more than an easy 3~4 minute read. I hope that you will take time to more slowly ponder over and cherish the lessons though.

A Testament

Sometime ago I had an epiphany while observing MO., our dog. I read that the average lifespan of a dog is around 12 years. And then I thought about my present age and was thunderstruck at this: The time when I will continue to be most productive actually coincides with MO's lifespan. That's not too long, I felt keenly. This motivated me to start this project. Please read it as something like a testament from me to you so that when I'm no longer around, you can still continue to hear my voice. I hope to continue it regularly: I'll aim for at least one short note every week.

So, let me start!

Spirit-Nourishing

Some of the most treasured memories of my entire 50-some years of life (I would rate this category of experiences up there in the top three even!) are the moments when you and I spent doing together what we came to call "Spirit-Nourishing." We did that often in your younger days either by going to church or by doing some exercises here at home in order to--what we called--"nourish our spirits."

"Spirit"

First of all, I came to refer to our exercises as "spirit-nourishing." "Spirit" has many meanings but what I mean when I say "spirit nourishing" is: to nourish/to take care of the most important and deepest part of yourself--the part where you find life and energy; the part that gives you the drive to fulfill your purpose; the part that also holds love, joy, meaning, and peace. This most important part of yourself is also known as your core. It's what Thich Nhat Hanh-sensei (and the Buddha) refer to as "your true self/your true home." It's called by other names such as: mind, soul, centre, spirituality, etc.

Why You Need to Nourish Your Spirit

You have to take care of your "spirit" (your mind, your "true self", your core, your soul or whatever you want to call it) because it is the absolutely crucial key to living a life full of purpose and genuine happiness. If you neglect your spirit, you will slide into meaninglessness, depression, or what is often referred to nowadays as "mental-health issues."  Only when your spirit is healthy, flourishing, and vibrant can you make the world a better place. Instead, if your spirit is in a bad shape, you will make the world a worse place, not because you're bad (No one is!), but because your spirit is hurting. 

The Main Point [TMP]

Spirit-Nourishing is Like Water: We Need It to Live!

As I mentioned, "spirit" is deeply linked with "mind." A few days ago, I came upon words that struck me deeply. A meditation teacher said: "Our mind is the part of us that we use the most, but the one that we take the least care of!" That is just so true. The reason why so many of us have mental-health issues is because we think that taking care of our minds (what you and I call "spirit-nourishing") is not so important, just an "optional" activity. Well, it's not! It's like water: Just as we (the physical part of us) cannot survive without water, our spirit/mind (the part that is most used and most valuable) won't survive without spirit-nourishing.

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Let's all resolve to take good care of our spirits (our minds) today and every single day! (More concrete things to come in later notes!)

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