In Honour of My Mother, Barbara G. Kato

(Began: Thursday, November 23, 2017)

    When I posted news about mom’s passing on my Facebook page two days ago, I was overwhelmed by the number of people who took the time to express their sympathies, affection, and condolences to me and our family on this occasion. One comment from a dear friend somehow stood out and struck me in a particular way. It said: “We didn’t know her but we can see her beautiful legacy in you, in your family, and in your lives.”

    This prompted me to think of mom, her life and that “beautiful legacy” which, my dear friend perceptively pointed out, lives on in us who are her children, her extended family or friends. Of course, I had to start with my earliest memories of those years in which I was most closely bonded with her as a child. I admit, it does begin to feel so hard jogging my memory at 52 years old and going back some 40 plus years to the time of the formative childhood years that I spent almost always by mom’s side.

    However, when I set myself to do this in earnest, faced with the stark reality of her death, the memories came flooding back …

Daily Dose of Hug

KH often tells us "Daddy / Mommy, I need my daily dose of hug!" and she just comes and hugs us and asks us to give her "a proper hug." Isn't that just adorable?

The mythologist Joseph Campbell once said,
"I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life
as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive."
I think there is profound truth in this insight.
For a parent, one of the most ordinary yet most profound experiences of being alive is precisely when one is hugged or when one hugs one's dear child.

I savour and cherish this!

Pet Dog as the Buddha

I was reading in Elizabeth Drescher's Choosing our Religion about the "spiritual" connection between people and pets. One Linda Olson considers her dog Sheamus her most important spiritual sensei. She calls him "Mr. Present Moment" aned "Mr. Loving Kindness." These are the values the dog teaches her everyday. The dog teaches her "to pay attention to the present moment, to really be in it, and to approach everyone as though they're going to be awesome, wonderful friends. I don't think the Buddha could do much better than that." (p. 140)

The Sutra on Totality

I was just really awestruck, even flabbergasted by this very succinct expression of -- what I think is -- the core of Buddhism: focus on the here and the now! It just stopped me in my tracks!
Of course, it's been years now that I've been convinced that what Buddhist masters such as Thich Nhat Hanh have claimed is profoundly true: True happiness lies when you can really live to the full the present moment, the here and now!

"Monks, I will teach you the totality of life. Listen, attend carefully to it and I will speak.

What, monks, is totality? It is just the eye with the objects of sight, the ear with the objects of hearing, the nose with the objects of smell, the body with the objects of touch and the mind with the objects of cognition. This, monks, is called totality.

Now it anyone were to say, "Aside from this explanation of totality, I will preach another totality," that person would be speaking empty words, and being questioned would not be able to answer. Why is this? Because that person is talking about something outside of possible knowledge."

(From the Samyutta Nikaya, trans. by Gil Fronsdal)

Teachings of the Buddha (Pocket Classics), p. 57

/jkk

Mindfulness and Elephants

(Jan Chozen Bays, Mindfulness on the Go, pp. 20 ff)

In the Buddhist tradition, the practice of mindfulness can be described using the analogy of elephants. In the Buddha's time, elephants were used in war. They had to be trained in order to follow orders and accomplish vital tasks in the midst of the din and confusion of the battle.

When an elephant is untrained or wild, it runs away; it attacks when scared. In short, it is of no use but can rather cause great damage.

The untrained mind is just like that: When confronted with problems and challenges, it might just run away, go numb, engage in disastrous behaviour or even attack others. It needs mindfulness training in order to remain calm in the midst of the different stress factors in life and in order to continue really life to the full every moment in life.

"Daddy, I want to be like you"

I've heard this line a few times from our 8-year-old in the past few months. She says she wants to earn a PhD, teach in a university, and be "like me." My standard response to that is: "You don't have to be like me, honey. You have to be yourself!"

Of course, even when I consider that this is just a phase of "daughter thinking daddy is a 'Superman'," it still touches and moves me at a very deep level. My wife has even told me that DD (dear daughter) idolizes me. That is very flattering.

As I look with much love at my eight-year old daughter, I see that she has indeed gotten many things from me up to this point. I'm immensely proud of that. I hope though that I'm not just trying to shape her into an image of myself - that would be idolatry. I hope I can really give her the freedom to discover who she really is and help her to grow into that person.

Still, what a joy to a father's heart when he feels his daughter is proud of him. I savour, cherish and treasure this!