On Powerful Forces like Fire … or Sex

To a dear young'un #01 – Powerful Forces. 

(When a blog post is tagged in this way, it is a message for a young person very dear to my heart – a piece of wisdom for life I’d like to suggest)

There are things in life that we can consider as wonderful and very powerful forces. I'm thinking for example of things such as water, fire, air. These things are so important that we can't exist without them. Each of them is a wonderful and powerful "force" to celebrate but also something to treat with reverential care and caution.

When something has this great power, however, it has to be, in a deep sense, "controlled.” This tremendous force has to be “directed” or "channelled" responsibly in order for it to accomplish the many marvelous things it has the capability of accomplishing. This is why we have dams for water; or why we have controlled use of fire for cooking; or even why humans built windmills to harness "wind power"! If a "force" is used without these “controls” and just allowed to "explode" with all its raw power, the result is DISASTROUS: floods, catastrophic burning, the terrible force of a hurricane are just a few examples.

Now we come to the point that is relevant for growing kids: Sex is one such power. It is a wonderful and powerful aspect of humanity that begins to awaken and to show its tremendous "force" in one's pre-teens and just grows stronger in one's teen years. Sex is one of the most marvelous aspects of humanity! But let's also remember that, like water, fire or air, on the one hand, it's a force to be accepted with gratitude but, on the other, also a force to be reckoned with. It’s a force that has to be channeled properly in order for it to accomplish the many wonderful things it can accomplish to bring us pleasure, happiness, love, and fulfillment as humans. Just like the many other powerful forces in life, sex is to be celebrated and utilized ... in a controlled way. 

Such self-control can only be exercised by a person with discipline. Knowing what something is for; knowing that powerful forces need "chanelling"; and actually DOING that chanelling and PRACTICING that control are the keys to a successful and happy life as a teenager and as a young adult. 

That's my wish for all of you, young'uns, dear to my heart!

/jkk

A Father's Day Memory: The Moment I Became a Daddy

holding the new born KH hours after her birth

Just past midnight: London, Ontario, Canada, June 8, 2008. Our daughter, KH was born around 12:45 am. I was assisting D (my wife) in the birthing room. Although D wanted a natural birth, circumstances beyond anyone's control forced her to consent to a C-section. We found ourselves then in the birthing room. I was holding my wife's hand while the C-section was being performed. There was like a (cloth?) barrier between D's upper body and abdomen area so that we would not see the bloody procedure being done inches away. However, I wanted to witness with my very eyes the birth of our child so I asked the doctor if I could stand up and see the procedure being conducted beyond the barrier. She asked me in turn if I was sure that I was OK with that. They didn't want to have to assist me if I should faint or anything. Now, I can become queasy with blood on certain occasions but when it involves my dear ones, I'm solid as rock. So I replied confidently that I was definitely OK.

I stood up then and when I looked at the procedure beyond the barrier, it was the very moment when--I could only describe it as--our child was "yanked" from her mother's womb. I saw the bloody bundle that was our child and she let out her first mighty cry to the world. It was an amazing scene to behold!

When I heard that first cry, something deep within me stirred: it was a kind of profound, existential and visceral sense that shouted "I am now a daddy!" Since I had previously consented to be the one to cut the umbilical cord joining baby with mommy (it was just a ceremonial action because they had actually done an initial cut already), they beckoned me to do so. Unfortunately, I let go of my wife's hand without so much as a word to her -- Sorry D! I think I was just excited and stressed and moved, all at the same time. So it was that I left her to go and perform the "cut."

After that, they had to wash and clean the newborn and dress her in her first "clothes." I had the presence of mind to ask them if I could record the whole procedure with a video cam (yes, I had that with me too!). I still keep all that precious footage up to today!

After little KH was all clean and dressed up, the nurse summoned me, gave her to me and told me to bring her back to our room from the birthing centre. I was so nervous. I had never had any previous experience of carrying a new-born but there I was, the new father. I had to say yes. I only knew that I had to support her head which I dutifully did.

KH was crying furiously. That was the sign of a healthy new-born. As I was carrying the precious, crying little bundle back to the room, I stopped and decided to speak to her with these very words spoken as tenderly as possible, "H, welcome to our world!" At that, she immediately stopped crying. The cute little one made as if to open her eyes (no, newborns can't see things clearly yet, I knew, so I was really moved). But our darling daughter tried to look at where the voice came from, a voice she probably recognized because I had read to her often when she was still in D's womb. It moved me immensely and brought tears of joy to my eyes ... even now it does!

There and then, I was able to grasp a little of what an "absolute kind" of love is all about. There and then, I knew that I was REALLY a dad now because when I looked at that little face that in turn was trying to recognize the face of her dad, I knew that I would love this daughter of mine with my whole heart, soul, and mind ... with everything I've got; even if that would mean giving my very life for her.

They say that the only absolute bond is between parent and child. I knew it then; I know it now. This experience of fatherhood, of parenthood ... is one of the closest things one will ever get to the experience of pure love and joy ... this side of the grave.

I savour and cherish it deeply!

Acknowledging Privilege and Solidarity with Others

I'm a person of color - Filipino-Japanese, living in Ontario, Canada at present. I've had my own minor experiences of being disadvantaged but despite that, I acknowledge how much privilege I've had in life. Now more than ever, I'm trying my best to be aware of this privilege - where I was born and grew up (Manila, Philippines), where I've lived or stayed for a period of time (Tokyo-Japan; Rome-Italy; Berkeley-California; London-Ontario-Canada, etc.). An important part of this effort is to acknowledge clearly that there are many things that I CAN DO, without so much as a thought for my safety while so many people, especially my black brothers and sisters, CANNOT DO SO. I will continue to try my best to struggle so that everyone could experience more fully the respect and safety that they deserve as human persons, without depending on the color of their skin, their background, their gender, their social status, their sexual orientation, etc.

Here's a thought-provoking piece I just received in an email list. It is a good comprehensive list of things that many of us with privilege take for granted, but which were activities that resulted in other people being hurt and even killed just because of the color of their skin. Standing in solidarity with discriminated brothers and sisters, I reproduce the list below:

I can go birding (#ChristianCooper)
I can go jogging (#AmaudArbery)
I can relax in the comfort of my own home (#BothemJean and #AtatianaJefferson)
I can ask for help after being in a car crash (#JonathanFerrell and #RenishaMcBride)
I can have a cellphone (#StephonClark)
I can leave a party to get to safety (#JordanEdwards)
I can play loud music (#JordanDavis)
I can sell CDs (#AltonSterling)
I can sleep (#AiyanaJones)
I can walk from the corner store (#MikeBrown)
I can play cops and robbers (#TamirRice)
I can go to church (#Charleston9)
I can walk home with Skittles (#TrayvonMartin)
I can hold a hair brush while leaving my own bachelor party (#SeanBell)
I can party on New Years (#OscarGrant)
I can get a normal traffic ticket (#SandraBland)
I can lawfully carry a weapon (#PhilandoCastile)
I can break down on a public road with car problems (#CoreyJones)
I can shop at Walmart (#JohnCrawford)
I can have a disabled vehicle (#TerrenceCrutcher)
I can read a book in my own car (#KeithScott)
I can be a 10yr old walking with our grandfather (#CliffordGlover)
I can decorate for a party (#ClaudeReese)
I can ask a cop a question (#RandyEvans)
I can cash a check in peace (#YvonneSmallwood)
I can take out my wallet (#AmadouDiallo)
I can run (#WalterScott)
I can breathe (#EricGarner)
I can live (#FreddieGray)
I CAN BE ARRESTED WITHOUT THE FEAR OF BEING MURDERED (#GeorgeFloyd)

/jkk

Merlin (BBC series) and "Magic"

Magic is a metaphor for anything that has a tremendous power which can be used either for good or evil. It is how we use these powerful energies that define who we are as humans.

For some time now, KH and I have been going through the 5 seasons of the BBC's Merlin. (We're in a pandemic lockdown remember!) Both of us have become hooked on it. The good thing about watching the series is that we are put in touch with many things that form part of the Arthurian legends and lore, although reinterpreted with artistic license in the series.

Some Noteworthy Points for me

Magic.  'Magic and the good or evil it brings' is a major theme of the series. The anti-magic attitude is personified in King Uther, Camelot's king and father of Prince Arthur. He is ruthless in his persecution of magic because he is convinced that magic is evil, that it can only be a negative factor that brings so much evil into the world. The flip side of this attitude is his all-out support for science and medicine, shown concretely in the affection for and trust he has in his court physician Gaius. Little does he know that it was Gaius himself who took the young Arthur under his wings, even if he knows that Arthur is a powerful warlock.

Different Attitudes to Magic.   But not everyone is like Uther in his utter hate for magic. There are those who use magic but mainly for evil like the sorceress Morgause and eventually (her half-sister) Morgana, Uther's ward (actually his daughter) who becomes the main villain in the series from the end of season 3 onwards. There are those who seemingly support Uther's rejection of magic but are actually neutral toward it, knowing that magic is ambivalent: it can be used for evil but at the same time also put to good use. This is personified in Gaius. There are those who, like Merlin (the protagonist of the film), know that magic has this tremendous potential for good but have to live meanwhile under a regime that loathes the use thereof. There are those like Arthur who are just born into a social order where magic is perceived as evil and who do not know any other alternative. The series, one can say, is a continual battle for who will sway the young prince (he becomes king from Season 4 onwards) and either let him maintain his distrust of magic or turn him into one with a more balanced view thereof, a view which admits the tremendous potential of magic either for good or evil.

One major reflection of mine is ...

Magic, a metaphor for powerful forces.  Magic can be a symbol for anything that has tremendous power--authority, sex, intelligence, material wealth, even Religion ... and so forth. Almost everything like that in life is ambivalent - having a potential either for great good or great evil. It is how we choose to utilize, better, channel this power that defines who we are as persons. That defines whether we are persons with character or not.


We finally finished watching the whole series today, May 17, 2020.

The Once and Future King.   In the last episode, Arthur unfortunately passes away because of the wound sustained from Mordred's sword. However, the dragon Kilgharrah, tells Merlin that, although Arthur is dead, in a future time when the kingdom will have its greatest need for a hero-king, Arthur will rise again because he is the "once and future king." Arthur thus becomes a Christ-figure. One manifestation of the ideal king is gone but when things are at their direst, someone else who conforms to the image of Arthur will "rise again." Arthur is also like the biblical King David, also a once and future king, so much so that messianic figures in Jewish history were associated with him such as Jesus who was also called "Son of David."

Some of the Joys of Teaching - Knowing that You Made a Difference!

I've been teaching at the university level for 18 years or so now. Before that, I even taught high school and elementary school kids for a while. Yes, it's not easy to be a teacher-professor. There are lots of challenges that you face. But looking back at this stage, I can say that I've always loved teaching. There are times when something really touching happens and you remember why you became a teacher. Sometime ago, a dear student of mine sent me a message which did that for me. It is particularly significant because I am not teaching this school year as I'm on my sabbatical. Despite that, being remembered and thanked for by a student really moved me. I keep and treasure these gratitude notes (I have a stash of them) because they are things to hold on to and be grateful for, especially in tough times. It's really a deep joy to know that you made a difference in the lives of your students. I CHERISH AND TREASURE THAT. I really hold dearly all my former students and wish them all the best.

***

THE MESSAGE

Hello Professor Kato!

I hope you and your family are staying safe and healthy during this crazy and unexpected time. I know this message may come to you by surprise; however, I just wanted to say hello and thank you for everything you have taught me the past years at kings.

No words can describe how much I missed not being in one of your classes in my final year but I want you to know that everything you have taught me has stuck to me and I can't believe how much I have been using all the knowledge you have passed on. From the structures you have provided on how to write good essays to methods of analysis (the three world analysis is absolutely genius and I do not know how I went without it years prior!). Although I am finishing this year in an odd manner and have found it extremely hard, its professors like you that absolutely inspire me to keep pushing forward and battle every hard battle to get to my dreams. Thank you for being you and all the work you put into your students and I wish for all your future students to maintain everything you have taught them and use it because I can say I am truly blessed and honoured to say I was in your classes at Kings. To this day I look back at them and just smile. To this day I remember you singing "What if God was one of us?" and to this day I think of fiddler on the roof when talking about tradition and the Gospel of Matthew. So thank you, thank you for the knowledge you passed down to me and thank you for being you. For caring about your students and wanting them to do well. From the bottom of my heart thank you!

I hope we will be able to see each other once my convocation is established due to it being postponed for now. I hope you are keeping safe and healthy and that you and your family are finding joy in the little things during this crazy time! 

Thank you for everything, all the best, and God bless!

A grateful student

***

My Response

Dear GS,

Thank you so very much for your kind words! You and other students who take the time to thank me in this explicit way remind me very touchingly why I chose to become a teacher many years ago and why I continue to love being so (except marking…!). But again, thanks so much. I just cherish and treasure your words and the sentiments behind them. Please do carry whatever you have learned from me and from your other wonderful professors and teachers (of all kinds!) with you as you continue your life journey. Believe me, you’ll need to draw from these powerful lessons, especially at crucial moments because your life is still practically in front of you.

I’ve been enjoying my sabbatical and been quite fruitful (despite the lockdown since last month). I’ve secured a book contract for what, I hope, would be my 3^rd monograph-book. I’m trying to distill all the things I’ve taught my students in the past 15+ years of teaching New Testament into this projected book. So yes, 3 worlds … and so on and so forth… Wish me well. I hope I make the proposed submission by the end of this year. The work, I would say, is like 70% written in various forms…

I wish you well. Please give my regards and love to your wonderful family. Stay safe and healthy. My wife is a PSW at a nearby nursing home. Long-term healthcare homes NOW are the hotspots of the pandemic. So we are constantly keeping our fingers crossed that we stay healthy as we have until now. But even if she (and maybe we) get sick, there are still so many things that are hopeful in our society such as a not-yet-overwhelmed healthcare system and family and friends to support us. There’s always hope to hold on to. There I am again, the hopelessly hopeful optimist. I hope you got that one too from being in my classes …

Have a blessed and healthy Easter season and I hope to see you and your friends sooner than later. If I can help you in any way now or in the future, I will gladly do that for you. It’s an immense joy to do that, especially for my best students!

Good luck and God bless,

jkk

Uncle Iroh in 'The Avatar: the Last Airbender' and His Deep Wisdom

One of my favourite animation shows of all time is the Avatar: The Last Airbender series. It tells of an "Avatar" who can bend (manipulate) the four elements of water, earth, fire, and air and who is the only one that can maintain balance in this world. I like it so much because not only is it very entertaining, it also illustrates in a marvelous way the perennial Hero's Journey while imparting very deep life lessons in the process. If you haven't seen it, check it out!

In the series itself there are many awesomely portrayed characters but one of my favourites is the character of Uncle (General) Iroh, a plump, jolly old man who accompanies his nephew, Zuko as the
latter searches for the Avatar. Besides, Iroh is a man of profound moral integrity and deep wisdom.

My daughter and I were re-watching the Avatar series sometime ago and in a scene in which Uncle Iroh was giving Zuko words of deep wisdom, I exclaimed, "Wow, Uncle Iroh is so deep!"

To that, she replied, "He's like you, Daddy."

At another time I said: I like the Sokka and Bo-Lin characters because they're jolly. My daughter then said: You're like Sokka and Bo-Lin, combined with Uncle Iroh.

Come to think of that, that's the second time our daughter identified me with Uncle Iroh! Wow ... upon reflection I realize that this is just a touching and wonderful compliment and affirmation from my own daughter! I'm a proud father to be compared to Avatar's Uncle Iroh!


Check out also this site which contains many wisdom sayings from Uncle/General Iroh
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ2ue2zA2ck

Here are some that I found really meaningful for me:

1. Aang to Iroh: Toph says you give pretty good advice and great tea. Iroh: the key to both is proper aging.
2. *[My favourite Uncle iroh teaching!] (Talking with Zuko his nephew) It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale. Understanding others, the other elements (air, water, earth, fire), and the other nations will help you become whole.
3. Zuko: This city is like a prison. I don't want to make a life here. / Iroh: Life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not.
4. Iroh to Aang: Perfection and power are overrated; I think you are very wise to choose happiness and love.
5. Iroh to person about to mug him: What are you doing? / Mugger: I'm mugging you. / Iroh: With that stance? / Mugger: What are you talking about? Just give me your money, old man! / Iroh: With a poor stance, you are unbalanced and you can easily be knocked over.
6. Iroh to Zuko: You must let go of your feelings of shame, if you want your anger to go away. / Zuko: But I'm not ashamed; I'm as proud as ever. / I: Prince Zuko, pride is not the opposite of shame but it's source. True humility is the only antidote to shame.
7. (to Zuko) I: You're fishing for an octopus, my nephew. You need a tightly-woven net or he will squeeze through the tiniest hole and escape.
8. Sharing tea with a fascinating stranger is one of life's true delights. 
9. The stomach is the source of energy in your body. It is called the sea of chi (ki 気). Only in my case it is more like a vast ocean.
10. Iroh: There is nothing wrong with a life of peace and prosperity. I suggest that you think about what it is that you want from life and why. Zuko: I want my destiny /  I: What that means is up to you.
11. Iroh (talking with Aang): Sometimes life is like this dark tunnel. You can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel. But if you just keep moving, you will come to a better place.