Mindfulness and Elephants

(Jan Chozen Bays, Mindfulness on the Go, pp. 20 ff)

In the Buddhist tradition, the practice of mindfulness can be described using the analogy of elephants. In the Buddha's time, elephants were used in war. They had to be trained in order to follow orders and accomplish vital tasks in the midst of the din and confusion of the battle.

When an elephant is untrained or wild, it runs away; it attacks when scared. In short, it is of no use but can rather cause great damage.

The untrained mind is just like that: When confronted with problems and challenges, it might just run away, go numb, engage in disastrous behaviour or even attack others. It needs mindfulness training in order to remain calm in the midst of the different stress factors in life and in order to continue really life to the full every moment in life.

"Daddy, I want to be like you"

I've heard this line a few times from our 8-year-old in the past few months. She says she wants to earn a PhD, teach in a university, and be "like me." My standard response to that is: "You don't have to be like me, honey. You have to be yourself!"

Of course, even when I consider that this is just a phase of "daughter thinking daddy is a 'Superman'," it still touches and moves me at a very deep level. My wife has even told me that DD (dear daughter) idolizes me. That is very flattering.

As I look with much love at my eight-year old daughter, I see that she has indeed gotten many things from me up to this point. I'm immensely proud of that. I hope though that I'm not just trying to shape her into an image of myself - that would be idolatry. I hope I can really give her the freedom to discover who she really is and help her to grow into that person.

Still, what a joy to a father's heart when he feels his daughter is proud of him. I savour, cherish and treasure this!