A Father's Day Memory: The Moment I Became a Daddy

holding the new born KH hours after her birth

Just past midnight: London, Ontario, Canada, June 8, 2008. Our daughter, KH was born around 12:45 am. I was assisting D (my wife) in the birthing room. Although D wanted a natural birth, circumstances beyond anyone's control forced her to consent to a C-section. We found ourselves then in the birthing room. I was holding my wife's hand while the C-section was being performed. There was like a (cloth?) barrier between D's upper body and abdomen area so that we would not see the bloody procedure being done inches away. However, I wanted to witness with my very eyes the birth of our child so I asked the doctor if I could stand up and see the procedure being conducted beyond the barrier. She asked me in turn if I was sure that I was OK with that. They didn't want to have to assist me if I should faint or anything. Now, I can become queasy with blood on certain occasions but when it involves my dear ones, I'm solid as rock. So I replied confidently that I was definitely OK.

I stood up then and when I looked at the procedure beyond the barrier, it was the very moment when--I could only describe it as--our child was "yanked" from her mother's womb. I saw the bloody bundle that was our child and she let out her first mighty cry to the world. It was an amazing scene to behold!

When I heard that first cry, something deep within me stirred: it was a kind of profound, existential and visceral sense that shouted "I am now a daddy!" Since I had previously consented to be the one to cut the umbilical cord joining baby with mommy (it was just a ceremonial action because they had actually done an initial cut already), they beckoned me to do so. Unfortunately, I let go of my wife's hand without so much as a word to her -- Sorry D! I think I was just excited and stressed and moved, all at the same time. So it was that I left her to go and perform the "cut."

After that, they had to wash and clean the newborn and dress her in her first "clothes." I had the presence of mind to ask them if I could record the whole procedure with a video cam (yes, I had that with me too!). I still keep all that precious footage up to today!

After little KH was all clean and dressed up, the nurse summoned me, gave her to me and told me to bring her back to our room from the birthing centre. I was so nervous. I had never had any previous experience of carrying a new-born but there I was, the new father. I had to say yes. I only knew that I had to support her head which I dutifully did.

KH was crying furiously. That was the sign of a healthy new-born. As I was carrying the precious, crying little bundle back to the room, I stopped and decided to speak to her with these very words spoken as tenderly as possible, "H, welcome to our world!" At that, she immediately stopped crying. The cute little one made as if to open her eyes (no, newborns can't see things clearly yet, I knew, so I was really moved). But our darling daughter tried to look at where the voice came from, a voice she probably recognized because I had read to her often when she was still in D's womb. It moved me immensely and brought tears of joy to my eyes ... even now it does!

There and then, I was able to grasp a little of what an "absolute kind" of love is all about. There and then, I knew that I was REALLY a dad now because when I looked at that little face that in turn was trying to recognize the face of her dad, I knew that I would love this daughter of mine with my whole heart, soul, and mind ... with everything I've got; even if that would mean giving my very life for her.

They say that the only absolute bond is between parent and child. I knew it then; I know it now. This experience of fatherhood, of parenthood ... is one of the closest things one will ever get to the experience of pure love and joy ... this side of the grave.

I savour and cherish it deeply!

Some of the Joys of Teaching - Knowing that You Made a Difference!

I've been teaching at the university level for 18 years or so now. Before that, I even taught high school and elementary school kids for a while. Yes, it's not easy to be a teacher-professor. There are lots of challenges that you face. But looking back at this stage, I can say that I've always loved teaching. There are times when something really touching happens and you remember why you became a teacher. Sometime ago, a dear student of mine sent me a message which did that for me. It is particularly significant because I am not teaching this school year as I'm on my sabbatical. Despite that, being remembered and thanked for by a student really moved me. I keep and treasure these gratitude notes (I have a stash of them) because they are things to hold on to and be grateful for, especially in tough times. It's really a deep joy to know that you made a difference in the lives of your students. I CHERISH AND TREASURE THAT. I really hold dearly all my former students and wish them all the best.

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THE MESSAGE

Hello Professor Kato!

I hope you and your family are staying safe and healthy during this crazy and unexpected time. I know this message may come to you by surprise; however, I just wanted to say hello and thank you for everything you have taught me the past years at kings.

No words can describe how much I missed not being in one of your classes in my final year but I want you to know that everything you have taught me has stuck to me and I can't believe how much I have been using all the knowledge you have passed on. From the structures you have provided on how to write good essays to methods of analysis (the three world analysis is absolutely genius and I do not know how I went without it years prior!). Although I am finishing this year in an odd manner and have found it extremely hard, its professors like you that absolutely inspire me to keep pushing forward and battle every hard battle to get to my dreams. Thank you for being you and all the work you put into your students and I wish for all your future students to maintain everything you have taught them and use it because I can say I am truly blessed and honoured to say I was in your classes at Kings. To this day I look back at them and just smile. To this day I remember you singing "What if God was one of us?" and to this day I think of fiddler on the roof when talking about tradition and the Gospel of Matthew. So thank you, thank you for the knowledge you passed down to me and thank you for being you. For caring about your students and wanting them to do well. From the bottom of my heart thank you!

I hope we will be able to see each other once my convocation is established due to it being postponed for now. I hope you are keeping safe and healthy and that you and your family are finding joy in the little things during this crazy time! 

Thank you for everything, all the best, and God bless!

A grateful student

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My Response

Dear GS,

Thank you so very much for your kind words! You and other students who take the time to thank me in this explicit way remind me very touchingly why I chose to become a teacher many years ago and why I continue to love being so (except marking…!). But again, thanks so much. I just cherish and treasure your words and the sentiments behind them. Please do carry whatever you have learned from me and from your other wonderful professors and teachers (of all kinds!) with you as you continue your life journey. Believe me, you’ll need to draw from these powerful lessons, especially at crucial moments because your life is still practically in front of you.

I’ve been enjoying my sabbatical and been quite fruitful (despite the lockdown since last month). I’ve secured a book contract for what, I hope, would be my 3^rd monograph-book. I’m trying to distill all the things I’ve taught my students in the past 15+ years of teaching New Testament into this projected book. So yes, 3 worlds … and so on and so forth… Wish me well. I hope I make the proposed submission by the end of this year. The work, I would say, is like 70% written in various forms…

I wish you well. Please give my regards and love to your wonderful family. Stay safe and healthy. My wife is a PSW at a nearby nursing home. Long-term healthcare homes NOW are the hotspots of the pandemic. So we are constantly keeping our fingers crossed that we stay healthy as we have until now. But even if she (and maybe we) get sick, there are still so many things that are hopeful in our society such as a not-yet-overwhelmed healthcare system and family and friends to support us. There’s always hope to hold on to. There I am again, the hopelessly hopeful optimist. I hope you got that one too from being in my classes …

Have a blessed and healthy Easter season and I hope to see you and your friends sooner than later. If I can help you in any way now or in the future, I will gladly do that for you. It’s an immense joy to do that, especially for my best students!

Good luck and God bless,

jkk